Monday, July 14, 2008

Happy Birthday to me

Friday was my birthday. Birthdays are supposed to be a happy day full of joy, well for me it is the absolute worst day of the year actually. (I have now officially declared it as the worst day of the year.) And unfortunately it is not likely to change.

Every year I try to convince myself it is just another day. Just another day of just another year. Still every year I wake up with a great anticipation in my stomach and wait closely by the phone and keep attentive eyes on the mailbox. And every year I become more and more irritated and sad and by the end of the day I have usually cried at least once. Of course I see this behavior as highly childish and tell myself it is totally silly to behave this way. Com'on I'm almost thirty, I should not be like a little child.

I've not always been like this though. It started after I moved to Brazil. Far from friends and family I have no one to celebrate me like before. My new family here never celebrate birthdays so of course it is passed like any other day. I have showed my husband how important birthdays are to me so now he knows that if he doesn't get me anything he will have a few difficult days afterwards.

As adults we often say that the older we get the less presents we get and the less we care. Well I don't. It's my birthday and I want a gift, that is the truth. It doesn't need to be fancy, expensive or anything extraordinary, it just needs to be something. I never expect gifts from friends really but from my family- yes. Especially my husband. *lol*

Well this year my husband did buy me a beautiful gift and my friend M treated me to a manicure and pedicure and my neighbor gave me a beautiful art frame she had made. So I did get celebrated in a way and I am eternally thankful to them. Though this was the day before my birthday, except from my neighbors gift which she gave me early in the morning, so the rest of the day I was almost fretting about here at home finding that I didn't want to leave my house in case someone from Sweden would call me. Which of course no one did. I only left my house for about an hour and I doubt anyone called during that hour. My mother did send me a text msg at night but by then I had already cried out of thankfulness to my worldwide friends who told me happy birthday at a forum where we chat. These sweet people are not even family but they make sure to congratulate me, I think that is so sweet. I made a normal chocolate cake because it was my birthday after all so I had to make a cake. I didn't really feel like eating it all alone though, I had no one to invite over and DH came home late, but had a piece anyway. How sad is that!

Well now I have another year to prepare myself for the next one. Because th next one is a big one so if no one calls me then I will probably cry for weeks afterwards. Silly me and my good memory.

How are you with birthdays? Do you think it becomes less important the older we get or do you get upset if no one celebrates you?

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Just Jen said...

I haven't had a birthday since I turned 29...7 years ago...LOL
Happy birthday!!


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