Thursday, September 25, 2008

Life changing happenings

When life is good it is hard to imagine what could happen that would throw us off balance. I thought my life was all good, sure I wanted to earn a little more, lose a little weight, become even healthier and do some things but life was good.

What happened was that I discovered I was pregnant. This wasn't expected but surely welcome and we were happy about the new baby. I had a feeling inside me that something would be wrong with the baby but ignored it and felt happy instead. I started to plan and think about how our lives would be with this new little person coming. I announced I was pregnant to only a few days later go through what no mother wants; a miscarriage.

It was still in early stages as I only was 9 weeks along but once you find out you are pregnant you love that little thing inside of you and it was no different for me. From having a loving feeling inside of me to nothing emptied my heart. Last week was tough and I've been crying more than once. What is keeping me on up is my faith, without my faith life would surely be different.

It is hard, oh so hard but the walk will continue and one day I will become a mother again I believe. But for now I appreciate and thank God for the family I do have and adore every moment with them. I couldn't care less about fat-burners or any other superficial and artificial treatments out there to make me lose weight or "feel better". I wanted to lose weight before I got pregnant and now I want to prepare myself so that I can try for another baby. But we are talking about kilos that would only make me feel good, no one else and they are not even important but I am usng it as a way to keep myself going and looking ahead.

My heart still aches, it will take time before it doesn't but I know that in the end everything will be OK. Instead of thinking of what I do not have I have to think about what I do have. And I give thanks for everything I've got today.

Life changing happenings shouldn't be avoided, they are what makes us who we are today. They may be hard to endure but they won't last long and once you are healing everything becomes easier.

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2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I have a friend facing a similar circumstance today. Maybe I will direct her to your post. Thanks for sharing.


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